i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
