i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
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Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
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We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
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