Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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