make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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