Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
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