This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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