Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
