My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I love having hate sex.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
