I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
