Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
