I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Barsexuality is the new black.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
