so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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