If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
