i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Randomize
