That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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