Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I stole a fireplace last night.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Randomize
