I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
