So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
