he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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