i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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