:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
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