I just saw a hot homeless man
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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