Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
