He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
