im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
