he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
