shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
