don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
