I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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