yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
im having a threesome with these popsicles
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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