She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize