he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
