When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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