I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
tonight lets celebrate not being married
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
