I murdered the dance floor call the cops
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
