so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
