...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
