I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?