guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I can text with my tongue
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
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