Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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