Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
