i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
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