Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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