I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
