yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
My ass is underappreciated
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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