just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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