just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
