She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
