he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I said "one day" and that day is not today
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
