the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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