So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
You took a bar mat shot.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
