I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
