and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
