it's like iHOP with fire
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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