Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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