Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
