guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
