I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
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You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
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