so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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