You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
