I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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